It feels like…

Since January, I have been involved in a performance of  The 25^th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.  I sacrificed blogging while learning my lines.  We had a great run and received very positive feedback from the patrons.

My friends and family often ask if I am nervous on stage.  I am not.  Once on stage, I am calm and confident in my ability and my cast.   However, the moment before I step through the curtain a sensation that is difficult to describe overtakes me.  Part of it is a fear of the unknown and part of it is a moment of self-doubt.  Am I really prepared for this?  Every show has something different happen.  A sound malfunction, skipped line or the dreaded forgotten line can occur no matter how prepared and talented the cast is.  When something happens the actors must correct and keep going.  I do not think about it on stage, but before I step out of the curtain, I do.

To put the feelings in context that non-actors will understand…

Before I step on stage, I feel like I do the moment before the Hulk Coaster launches me through  the tube.

It is the same feeling I have before stepping off a boat and descending sixty feet while SCUBA  diving.

It feels like the moment before my class walks in on the first day of school.

I feel nervous, electric and alive.  There is a sense of unknown and adventure.

It is a lot like standing over a ten-foot putt to win $20.

Standing on the free throw line with a chance to tie the game is similar.

I plan; I rehearse and think about my lines all the time.  No matter how much I prepare I still feel the same.

Sunrise at the start of a triathlon feels the same as standing behind the curtain.

I felt the same feeling before I finally asked the pretty girl out.

The moment before the first kiss is just like the moment before going on stage.

I hear my cue, the stage manager nods and I walk out on stage.  I am confident and the nerves disappear.  Then one last thought enters my head:  Did I zip my zipper?  Every show it is always the same.

Not so deep thoughts…

This past week has been a challenging one for me.  I accomplished little, but thought about a lot.  I did complete the first draft of a project I hope to post next week.  Here are a few of the many thoughts that ran though my head.

Up-Down-Up-Down-Left-Right-Left-Right-B-A-Select-Start. Learn it. Live it.  Love it.

Bo Jackson is the greatest football player in video game history.  This is not debatable.

G.O.A.T

Saturday Night’s Alright (for fighting) – Elton John out rocks Nickelback

Why is being overqualified a negative?  Are dumb people better employees?

Anytime a sentence begins with “you people” – something stupid will follow.

“We’ll keep your resume on file,” is not as encouraging as it sounds.

There is a tip jar in the drive thru at Starbucks, but not McDonalds.  Why?

UF/UGA qualifies for a House Divided tag.  Yale/University of Phoenix does not.

If married people encourage single friends to get married.  Then single people should encourage married friends to get divorced.

It is socially acceptable for a man to wear Chap Stick but not cherry lip gloss.  Seems unfair.

Ricky Gervais is a Conservative hero because he stuck it to Hollywood.  If you’re a fan of Ricky Gervvais, you know why this is funny.

Black ice scares the crap out of some people.  They will do anything to avoid black ice.   The news media reports on possible black ice locations.  Never hear people worrying about white ice.

I’m not sure which is creepier: my movie crush on Johnny Depp or my movie crush on Emma Stone.

You smell like old people... and soap. I like it.

But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.

If we lived in a WWE world…

I walked into Publix today to buy a few items for dinner.  I’m making ziti and meatballs, but that has little bearing on the issue at hand.

I entered  the store and nobody noticed.  Shoppers were shopping and the employees were talking to each other.  Not one person looked over and acknowledged my presence.

It hit me:  How much more awesome would life be if it were like the WWE?

In the WWE, when a superstar enters the building, people don’t ignore him.  There is music, lights and pyrotechnics announcing the entrance.  Jim Ross begins verbally hemorrhaging in excitement.

If we lived in WWE world:

Publix is quiet.  The employees are discussing Jersey Shore while stay at home moms and retirees march up and down the isles searching for deals.

Suddenly Back in Black assaults the eardrums.  I stomp though the door, a can of Red Bull in each hand.  I jump on top of the Customer Service counter and look at my legion of fans.

The Produce Manager is on the PA screaming, “Business is about to pick up!”

Employees and customers cheer my arrival.

Shopping at Publix just became a little more awesome.

I saw an ESPN highlight showing Matt Ryan throwing a pass to Roddy White.  White caught the ball, juked the defender and ran forty yards for a score.  Yawn.  We see touchdowns countless times on any given Sunday.

In WWE world:

The Dome, NFC Championship Falcons vs. Rams.  Rams are up by four with a minute to play in the game. Matt Ryan drops back and throws the ball to Roddy White.  White catches the ball, jukes his defender and has an easy path to the end zone.

Out of nowhere, Michael Jenkins flashes into view and knocks the ball out of White’s hand.  The ball bounces through the back of the end zone giving the Rams the ball and an unbelievable victory.

Joe Buck sounding like JR: “Good God!  What is Jenkins doing?”

Jenkins rips off his Falcons jersey revealing the Rams jersey underneath.

The fans in the dome boo and throw things on the field while Jenkins and the Rams celebrate.

Family gatherings are dull affairs.  The little cousins play together then fight with each other.  The older people sit and complain about things that old people complain about.  The married family members discuss diaper changes or trips.  The single cousins wish they had done something different.

Seven Budwisers into the gathering Uncle Rob switches off his appropriate topic filter and launches into a fifteen minute dissertation about the failure of schools because of lazy union teachers.

Cousin Suzy, a kindergarten teacher, sits quietly hoping somebody comes to her aid and shuts Uncle Rob up.

A heavy silence hangs in the room as family look from one another waiting for somebody to do or say something.

Aunt Katie, Rob’s wife places a gentle hand on Uncle Rob in a vain attempt to silence him.

In WWE world:

Uncle Rob launches into his verbal tirade about the unions and lazy teachers.  Cousin Suzy, unable to contain herself, stands up picks up her folding chair and hits Uncle Rob over the head with it.

Before Aunt Katie can respond Cousin Suzy delivers a metal chair smack to Katie’s head as well.

Cousin Suzy then begins kicking Uncle Rob while Grand Pa Frank yells, “she’s stomping a mud hole in him!”

After a few minutes, family members jump in and pull Cousin Suzy off the bloodied Uncle Rob.

Grand Ma Jane emerges from the kitchen with a warm apple pie and life returns to normal.

 

There is no argument the WWE world is far more entertaining and gratifying than the real world.  Unfortunately, the real world has laws.  Jumping on the counter at Publix is frowned upon.  Switching teams in the NFC Championship is not allowed due to collective bargaining.  Although it shouldn’t be, stomping a mud hole in annoying relatives is illegal in 49 states.

Sam says: Rise up Mother Falcons!

It is almost impossible to live near Atlanta and not be swept up in Falcons fever.  The press is stoking the hype machine as the Falcons continue to rise up!  In Atlanta, it’s time to party like it’s 1998.  The Dirty Bird is back and dirtier than ever!

There are a few  not riding the tsunami of hype.  Most are “outsiders” refusing to hop on the bandwagon.  We  refuse to abandon our home team because we live in Georgia.  With Internet and TV, I can watch every Dolphins game.  Unlike some other teams I cannot stand (Bills, Patriots, Jets and Colts), Falcons fans are mostly sane.  My neighbor is a Falcons fan and a good guy.  Bless his heart.

Top Seven Reasons why I don’t like the Falcons:

1 – Dome:  Football is played outside in the sun, rain, wind and snow. Is there and indoors equivalent to the Ice Bowl?   The recent collapse of the Metrodome shows how nature feels about football played in domes.  Nature abhors vacuums and domed stadiums.

2 – Favre:  Jerry Glanville’s claim to fame is talking smack, wearing black, leaving tickets for Elvis and trading Brett Favre.  Yes, that Brett Favre.

He's no Chris Chandler

3 – Prime Time:  Deion Sanders is a first ballot selection to the Hall of Fame of Hype. Deion is the best non-tackling-shut down-celebrity- corner of his generation.

4 – Vick:  Michael Vick.  In Atlanta, Vick was an athlete.  In Philadelphia, he is a quarterback.   Falcons’ ownership did not know the difference

5 – Arthur Blank:  He is the Falcons’ owner, former CEO of Home Depot and part time Rhett Butler impersonator.   Blank is a less football savvy Jerry Jones.

Arthur knows Hammers

6 – The Dirty Bird:  What is a “Dirty Bird’?  Is it something you pay for?  Will a cream stop it from itching?

7  – Matty Ice:  Matt Ryan is going to be a great QB.  Unfortunately, Atlanta gave him the lamest nickname in history.  “Matty Ice” is appropriate for the latest Bartles and James wine cooler, not an NFL quarterback.

Mother Falcons I hate that nickname!

This might be the Falcons year.  The house that Prime built is rockin’.  National and local media are calling the Falcons a Team of Destiny.  The NFL is full of teams of destiny that do not win the big game.  The 18-1 New England Patriots know a little something about being labeled a Team of Destiny.

I heard things…

I am currently working on something that could be a big deal.   This week I will keep it short with a few thoughts on subjects I found blog worthy.

Military:  iPhones are sweet, but if you are losing contact with nuclear subs, it is time to switch from AT&T

Vatican:  The Simpsons are a cartoon.  Claiming the Simpson family is not going to increase membership.  I am afraid other organizations will follow the lead of L’Osservatore Romano and claim cartoon characters for their own.  Anti drug groups are planning “Like zoinks!  Say no to drugs”, commercials featuring Shaggy.  Perhaps a conservative author named Brian C. Anderson will write a book about Conservative values in South Park.

Brett Favre:  You ignored the first rule of famous men – never involve yourself with a model /actress/ writer/ TV personality/ Internet star.

Derek Dooley (U Tennessee coach):  Your players are not like the Germans before D-Day.  In fact, sports are not like war at all.  Your comment reveals your ignorance of historical events.  I understand you are from a football family, but it is just football even in the SEC.

Dexter Fans:  I loved Dexter, in 2004, when I read the first book.  Back then he was a soulless serial killer with a Harry imposed code of ethics.  I do not like the huggable humanized Dexter on TV.  The “supernatural”  books are not any better.

Juan Williams:  We get it, NPR did you wrong.  Ten percent of Americans are unemployed and you are still complaining after a 2 million dollar deal with FOX?  Let it go.

Senator Mitch McConnell (KY):  The single most important thing you want to achieve should be working to fix the economy.  Defeating President Obama should be near the bottom.  Country before Party – learn it, live it, love it.

Florida Voters:  A choice between an insurance guy and a former Bank of America executive.  Good luck with that.

Nathan Deal and Roy Barnes: You wasted time and money telling voters the other candidate is a scum sucking lowlife.  We already knew that.

MTV:  Thank you for continuing to dumb down an entire generation.  I cannot wait to see Jersey Shore vs. Road Rules vs. Real World in the Inferno.  I am looking forward to the 16 and Pregnant spin off:  The State Takes the Baby.

Book Publishers:  A Snooki book?  Is it a pop up?  Will it be written in English or Jersey?

Major League Baseball:  Either invest in glasses for your umpires or use replay.  The “human element” is hurting the game’s credibility.

LeBron:  You still do not get it.

Free speech with a price

As my loyal reader(s) know, I created this site to practice and improve my writing skills.  I look for new ways to express myself and improve my chances in a competitive job market.

Currently, I am working on a script for a comic book.  Working on the comic book  brought back memories of high school and my brief endeavor in editorial cartoons.

I recently discovered Comic Life on my Mac.  I am experimenting with the software to see if I can use it to express my thoughts in cartoon.

Below is my 2^nd attempt.  I have not made up my mind whether or not to publish my first cartoon.  While I think it is brilliant satire, others may disagree.

Please let me know what you think about the comics.

Click on the image to make it larger.

9 years ago

Three updates in one week are more than normal.  This will not be one of my usual updates.

Every year I tell the same story:

I was teaching PE in Florida, it was a nice sunny day.  A teacher told me a plane flew into the World Trade Center.

“How’d that happen?” I asked.

She did not know.

Later she returned to tell me another plane hit the WTC.

“That’s messed up,” I responded.

It was not long after and we were ordered inside.  I am not sure if we inside before or after the crashes at the Pentagon and Pennsylvania.

The rest of the day we tried to reassure elementary school kids they were safe.  Because of the school demographics, very few students were picked up early.

We were also limited on what we could say.  There was no reason to discuss every detail.  It was up to the parents to determine how much they wanted to share.

Nine years later kids do not understand what happened on September 11, 2001.  It is a historical date like December 7, 1941.  Something happened that only old people remember.

(All political commentary will be deleted – time and place and this isn’t it)

Entertainment News Network

The music cranks a patriotic theme song.  Flags wave on the Titantron.  The crowd cheers as the entertainer makes his way to the stage.  Did Hulk Hogan enter Madison Square Garden for Wrestlemania or is it Glen Beck?

FOX News and the WWE both profit by creating controversy and drama.  Under government pressure, both companies admitted they manufacture content to achieve ratings success.  Vince McMahon, WWE CEO, admits wrestlers rehearse moves and the matches are predetermined. FOX Senior VP Michael Clemente confirmed that FOX programming mixes factual news with editorial content.

Believing the manufactured reality is critical to the success of both organizations.  Occasionally fans catch on to inconsistencies in the storyline.  Triple H feuding with Stephanie McMahon was not believable when their off screen marriage was revealed.

Recently FOX linked the Kingdom Foundation to the controversial New York Islamic center.  The same Islamic center FOX’s Laura Ingram supported in December 2009.   FOX portrayed the Kingdom Foundation as a front for possible terrorist activities. FOX abandoned the storyline when it was revealed that Saudi Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal, the man behind the Kingdom Foundation, is a friend and business partner of FOX owner Rupert Murdoch.

The revelation that FOX was in business with an alleged terrorist financier shocked me.  I have not felt so betrayed since Hulk Hogan joined the NWO at Bash at the Beach in 1996.

The WWE Divas provide eye candy for the coveted 20-54 male demographic.  FOX uses super babes like Megyn Kelly and former Miss America Gretchen Carlson.  Gretchen, a Stanford University Honors graduate, takes her role a step further pretending to be a dumb blonde that needs to google big words.

The driving forces behind the WWE are the testosterone driven superstars.  The Rock, Triple H, Hulk Hogan and the Undertaker are genetically enhanced super freaks capable of crushing the opposition with a devastating finishing move.

FOX employs mental megastars to stomp out liberal agendas and anti-American rhetoric wherever it occurs.  Glenn Beck, the crying common man, uses his amazing chalkboard to link random events to complicated Nazi-communist–fascist conspiracies.  Beck may be the most honest about the role FOX News plays.  In April 2010, Beck told Forbes Magazine: “I could give a flying crap about the political process. We’re an entertainment company.”

Bill O’Riley former tabloid TV superstar uses his quick wit and abrasive demeanor to silence those that dare disagree with him.  An O’Riley “shut up” is as devastating as a pile driver though a table.

The Big Show Sean Hannity has the rage of a fat kid tormented though high school.  Like Beck, Hannity has the ability to manipulate quotes and events to fit his version of reality.  Those foolish enough to oppose Hannity are beaten down with a series of passive aggressive remarks and egomaniacal smirks.  It is rumored that Alan Combs, liberal lightweight, joined Steve Bartman in seclusion following years of Hannity abuse.

FOX and the WWE do whatever is necessary to gain ratings.  WW brings in celebrities from outside wrestling to promote the highly profitable pay-per-views.  FOX uses the most outrageous personalities as experts on various subjects.  Are Reverends Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson the only African Americans that can appear on TV?  Are Geraldo, Mark Fuhrman or Ann Coulter experts in anything other than self-promotion? I cannot wait to see Snookie and the Situation on the Great American Panel discussing Middle East peace talks.

The WWE is upfront about their deception while editorial news programming continues to pretend they are delivering facts. Before the explosion of 24-hour news and talk radio, the news media respected the intelligence of the audience.  Editorial based morning shows, news magazine shows and talk shows reacted to the news they did not create the news.  I am disappointed in the new corporate news media for choosing ratings and dollars over journalistic integrity.

Look here for successful schools

Georgia public schools are failing our children.  DeKalb County schools make national headlines due to their constant ethic violations and questionable decision making.  Atlanta Public Schools are under investigation for cheating on the CRCT.  Clayton County lost accreditation in 2008.  The National Education Association protects bad teachers.  Georgia Republicans point out the failures and call for alternative forms of education.

Except not all public school systems are failing. Cherokee County Schools produced high scores on the CRCT.  The majority of the schools meet the Adequate Yearly Progress

standards as determined by No Child Left Behind.  In spite of the success, our local Republican elected officials continue to push for vouchers and school choice.

Cherokee County high school seniors did better on the ACT than their peers in Georgia.  Cherokee seniors beat the state average by nearly two points.  In comparison with the rest of the country, our seniors beat the US average by over a point.  A system producing above average scores on the ACT is not failing.

This spring Cherokee County first through eighth graders did extremely well on the CRCT.   Georgia Department of Education records show 95 percent of Cherokee County students met or exceeded standards in reading, 95 percent met or exceeded standards in language arts and 89 percent met or exceeded standards in math.  Test scores prove that Cherokee County Schools are succeeding.

Despite gains across the county on the CRCT, three elementary schools and one high school failed to make Adequate Yearly Progress.  The data on the Georgia Department of Education website provides insight into factors contributing to a “Not Meeting AYP” label.  A group less than 10 percent of the school population resulted in the schools not meeting AYP.  Academic performance and graduation rate are controllable by the school.  Attendance, included in the AYP formula is beyond the control of the school.

In 2009, Hasty Elementary School did not make AYP but rebounded this year.  How were they successful?  Did a revolutionary idea come from the Department of Education?  Perhaps the threat of competition with charter schools forced teachers to work harder.  Were the teachers threatened with their jobs?  No, the teachers, parents and students worked together to create a successful learning environment.

Collecting and analyzing data identified the strengths and weaknesses of the school.  Teachers identified students needing extra instruction using individual student data.  Teachers had the freedom to try different classroom strategies such as small group or collaborative learning groups to reach students.  Computer based instruction and technology created interactive centers for students to individually work on their weaknesses.

Schools with a higher percentage of students coming from stable college educated families score better than the students from less stable or less educated homes did.  The correlation between household income and test scores is undeniable.  However, it is a fallacy to believe poor students cannot learn.  Learning takes place but requires patience and creativity by the teachers and administration.  Studying for a test may take a back seat to family responsibility.  Students coming from homes valuing education generally excel in school.  Valuing education is not necessarily class related but connected to parental beliefs.

Instead of using mismanaged districts as the indicator of public schools, we should focus on successful ones.   I worked in several schools during my 13 years teaching in Florida and Cherokee County.  Like most professional educators, I have a good idea of what works and what does not work. The short answer is leadership.  Dr. Petruzielo is a strong leader and he demands much from his staff. Principals are responsible for setting the expectations in the schools.   Teachers take their cues from the principals and set expectations for the classroom.  When all school personnel, parents and students are on the same page, it creates an ideal environment for learning.

Instead of telling us the public school system is failing, it is time for our Georgia Representatives and Senators to look at our schools and determine why they work.  Most of the systems in Georgia are successful in spite of political interference.

Irresponsibly blaming teachers or unions shows a gross ignorance to the commitment of the professional educator.   It is disingenuous for our local Representatives and Senators to claim our schools are failing when obviously they are not.  Perhaps if their children attended a public school in Cherokee County they would know better.

I hope that with a new governor the state can look at what works instead of focusing on a few mismanaged systems.

Breaking up is hard to do

It recently struck me how similar working and dating are.  I was working in what I believed to be a stable and healthy environment for 14 years.  Sure, we had our difficulties and occasionally I considered quitting.  Once or twice, I looked at other occupations but never acted on those impulses.

My reward for devotion and faithfulness was a meeting with my principal.  She said, “As you know there have been some changes…”

The rest of the conversation is a blur.  I knew this day was coming. I saw the signs.  People around me were not making eye contact, my key did not work on my office door and custodians stopped emptying my trashcans.  I knew in my gut something was different but did not expect my 14 years as an educator to end following car circle duty in the rain.

A week later, I received a form letter from the school system.  They graciously thanked me for my service but because of budget cuts, they eliminated my position.  “It’s not you… it’s me,” was the subtext of the letter. The system blamed a lack of tax revenue but I could not help but to question myself.  Was I moving too fast?  Did I smell bad?  Are they still upset because I sent students to Starbucks?

Finding a job is more difficult than I thought.  I reapplied for my old position and other teaching jobs as well.  “We’ll keep your resume on file,” the Personnel Director told me.

We will keep your resume on file is business speak for “I will call you sometime.”  It means either you are a loser or there is no way we will be seen together.  On the other hand, it might mean we will call if all other candidates turn into brain munching zombies.

I also hear “We are not hiring right now” frequently.   Not hiring right now is the equivalent of “I am not looking for anything serious.” Perhaps the organization currently does not have open positions.  It could also mean I am not their type, my head is two sizes too big for my body or I have spinach dip in my teeth.

It does not seem that long ago companies were desperate for help.  By third quarter, unfilled positions went to the first candidate with brain waves and a heartbeat.  Now companies have “standards” and “requirements”.  The days of hooking up with a desperate company at last call is gone.

I am searching for a job not the right job.  I know I am too good for the available positions but hire me anyway and we will have some laughs.  Companies are tired of being burned by the over qualified candidate that jumps at the first available mid level management job.  I try to convince them I am different from the others, but they do not buy it.  Apparently my 4 years of college and 14 years of teaching means, I am over qualified to be a host at Taco Mac.

My life changed the day I learned the school system wanted to move in a different direction.  They needed some time to find themselves as an organization.  I suppose I should sit and wait patiently for them to call me back.  After all, the separation letter wished me luck and hoped we could still be friends.